"F" is for Friends

Can we talk about friends for a second?

Over the past couple weeks the whole idea of friendship has been stuck in my brain and I can’t get it out. Mostly, because a year ago I moved to a city without knowing a single soul and now I am having to plan some pretty hard “see you later” hangouts with people who have become such a huge part in my life. I can hardly believe it.

Making friends has always been pretty easy for me mostly because I am a pretty social person. I love meeting and connecting with new people.

Where are all my extroverted people at?! (Whoop whoop)

So when I moved, I wasn’t concerned with making friends. I knew… well I hoped, that I would have some pretty cool coworkers (which I did) and that I would find a good church home to get connected with there (which I did) . The change in the environment around me definitely threw me off a bit only because I was very comfortable in Lubbock and I had a pretty solid group of friends to hang out with, but I just had to roll with the changes and step out of my comfort zone. With all of that being said, I have learned some things about friendship that I want to share with you guys. Now I’m no expert, so feel free to take anything I say with a grain of salt, but this is just what has been on my mind.

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1. Friendships take TIME.

Building any sort of strong community does not happen overnight, even though that would be super awesome and nice. It takes patience and being intentional about the friendships you are wanting to form. It is not always going to be easy, but if it’s a friendship that you know is worth it, than investing in it will pay off in the end.

2. Friendships takes WORK.

Making friends takes work and so does keeping them.

When making friends, you can’t expect to just sit around and hope that someone talks to you or invites you to something because the chances of that happening are few and far between. YOU sometimes have to make a move and talk to someone.  Making friends isn’t passive, it takes effort on your part. That’s not always easy for some people, I get that, but attempting to step out of your comfort zone might be the best thing you ever do.

With keeping friends, it’s all about being intentional. Friendship is not a one way street. Both people need to make efforts on keeping the friendship going. That doesn’t always mean talking every single second of every day, every friendship is different. I have friends that I talk to daily and I have friends that I talk to randomly at different times whether it’s once a week or even once a month, but they are still my friends. Making yourself available for your friends is vital part in that too and that takes a lot of work. But being that one call, facetime, text, random coffee date or spontaneous shopping trip away can make a difference because you never know when they could really just use the friend time. The work you put into your friendships will be worth it and GOOD FRIENDSHIPS ARE WORTH THE WORK.

3. Friendships have SEASONS.

Not all of your friends are forever friends and that is okay. Sometimes there are people that come into your life only for certain seasons and it’s hard when that season is over.  This has honestly been one of the hardest concepts for me to grasp because I would love to just keep all my friends forever lol. Life happens though. People grow apart and it’s not always a bad thing, it’s just the way it goes. Some friendships can’t weather the storms, some friendships can’t handle the distance and some friendships can’t handle the change. That’s okay, just be super grateful and cherish each friendship for the time you have them and continue to root them on once they are done.

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What I have come to realize though, is that in this particular season, I am growing and I want people that are helping me to do that. I want people there with me through the “nitty gritty” as my friend Charlotte would say. I want people that will call my bluff and with love, tell me to get my crap together. I haven’t always been the best friend, but I’m learning and working on it. I am truly thankful for every friend I have though, whether I have known you for nine months or nine years.

But HUGE shout out to the friends I have made his past year because honestly I have no idea if I would have survived without them. I move in a few days and I get super sad when I think about not being able to laugh and hangout with my people here every week. However, I am super excited to have plenty of reasons to come back and visit!

Well, that’s a wrap folks. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

~EM

OH. But before you go enjoy some fun pics of some of my fave people I’ve met since I moved! Some aren’t pictured, but I still love them.